It happens every Venus retrograde, and it is happening again. A name you had not seen for months appears on your phone. A "hey, how are you?" from someone who left without much of a goodbye. Or nothing arrives at all, and you catch yourself checking whether it will. And the question comes, half hopeful and half afraid: will my ex come back during Venus retrograde?
I get asked this more in these six weeks than at any other time of year. So here is my honest answer, what I tell the people at my table, and what you can do with the weeks ahead.
When is Venus retrograde in 2026?
Venus turns retrograde on Saturday 3 October 2026 and turns direct again on 13 November (14 November in European time). She moves back from Scorpio, the sign of depth and old wounds, into Libra, the sign of partnership, on 25 October. I wrote more about what these weeks mean in Venus retrograde 2026: what Venus is asking this autumn.
Do exes really come back during Venus retrograde?
Sometimes they do. The old astrological tradition says that when Venus turns back, the past comes back with her: old loves, old questions, old patterns. And plenty of people will tell you that an ex reappeared exactly in these weeks. Autumn helps too. The evenings get longer, the anniversaries come round, and people get nostalgic.
But here is the part I always say out loud. Venus retrograde does not send anyone back to you, and it cannot make anyone stay. What it does, in my experience, is bring the story back up so that you can look at it again, with the person you are now. Sometimes the right ending is a new beginning. Far more often, the gift of these weeks is that you finally see the old story clearly, and close it properly.
If they do come back
Before you answer, pause. Not to play a game, but to let the person you are now answer instead of the person you were when it hurt most. Then ask yourself three questions, and write the answers down.
What has changed? Not in how they sound, but in what they do. A kind message is easy; a changed pattern is not. What do I want, if I am honest? Not what you would settle for. What you want. Who am I answering as? The version of you who was waiting, or the one who stopped waiting and built a life.
If the answers point towards the door, open it slowly and on your own terms. If they point away, you are allowed to answer kindly and close it, or not to answer at all.
If they do not
Then the question that came back is usually about you: was I enough, did I give too much, why do I keep choosing the same thing? Those are the real Venus retrograde questions, and they deserve better answers than the ones you gave yourself the last time. These six weeks are a very good time to give them.
What I hold at my table in these weeks
For exactly this season I hold the Venus Retrograde Ritual, only until Venus turns direct. Your name goes on paper beside a small mirror, the old sign of Venus, with a rose, myrtle and rose quartz, and I hold two pictures side by side: what has come back, seen clearly, and you, worth exactly what you hoped. It never works on anyone else.
If you hope the door will open again, the Reconciliation Spell holds your side of it and never their will. If you want to understand the silence first, the Ex & Silence Reading reads it, and you first. And if it is time to let go, the Cord Cutting Spell releases the tie from your side.
A Friday ritual for these six weeks
Friday is Venus's day. Every Friday evening until she turns direct, light a pink or white candle and sit where you can see yourself in a mirror. Look at yourself the way you would look at someone you love. Then say one sentence aloud, in the present tense: I answer love as the person I am now. Write down one thing you will not accept again, and one thing you will not settle without. Keep the list. By mid-November it will tell you more than any message could.
What comes back to my table
"Thank you for the elaboration and insights! I feel alot lighter and empowerment was also included within her words. Things are said clearly and I knew how to proceed now. Thank you~"
Riocain, September 2026
"This was my first time purchasing a reading and she did not miss, she is amazing and my reading was everything I was looking for I definitely recommend and I will be returning in the future!"
Etsy buyer, August 2026
Questions people ask me about Venus retrograde and exes
Will my ex come back during Venus retrograde?
Sometimes exes do reappear in these weeks, and the tradition says the past returns with Venus. But Venus retrograde cannot send anyone back or make them stay. What it brings is a chance to look at the old story clearly, as the person you are now.
Should I get back with my ex during Venus retrograde?
The old advice is not to rush into or out of love while Venus is retrograde. If someone comes back, take your time, look at what has really changed, and decide from strength rather than from the old ache.
Can a spell bring my ex back during Venus retrograde?
No honest spell can bring someone back against their will, and I never try. What I hold is your side: clarity, your worth, and the door held open if they are also ready.
When does Venus retrograde end in 2026?
Venus turns direct on 13 November 2026, or 14 November in European time. The weeks after that are a good time to act on what you have seen.
What if my ex contacts me and I do not want to answer?
Then you do not have to. You are allowed to answer kindly and close the door, or to leave it unanswered. If someone keeps contacting you after you have asked them not to, please talk to someone you trust and, if you feel unsafe, contact the police or a helpline.
Venus turns back so that you can turn towards yourself. Whatever comes back, let it meet you whole.
Ivy
